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Q:
What
do you do to get your
mind off HIV?
A:
I love
music, motorcycles,
weight lifting, computers,
movies, writing,
chess, web design, photography,
staying in touch with
friends and family,
travel and being of
service. However, there
are many days I just
can’t avoid it. I don’t
know that it’s ever
entirely off of it,
but the "distractions"
do help.
Q:
How do you stay in such
great shape?
A:
Great
shape? I suppose that’s
relative. :) A dear
friend who passed away
from AIDS in the 80’s
once told me, “a virus
needs a strong host
to survive.” Using my
knowledge of fitness
I set out to do just
that. It’s one aspect
of my self-care that
makes the biggest difference
for me physically as
well as emotionally.
I do moderate
exercise using resistance
training as well
as aerobics 3-5 times
a week as my schedule
and health allows.
Q:
Are you happy all the
time?
A:
Even
though I have so much
to be grateful for and
happy about, no, I’m
pretty sensitive and
a lot of life’s shit
gets to me, including
not being able to take
my health for granted.
I have an immense amount
of pain from the loss
I suffered from the
early age of ten when
my Mom died from breast
cancer. I’m happiest
when I’m not feeling
sick and I’m able to
be productive by being
of service and making
real connections with
others. I don’t have
much tolerance for ignorance
and bullshit in my life.
Q:
Has it gotten easier
or harder to
live with HIV as
the years pass?
A:
It depends
on the time of day;
it can be that fragile
for me. It truly is
a full time job to care
for myself and balance
that with life, relationships
and my mission. As difficult
as it still is at times,
I’d say overall it is
easier as I’m far more
at peace about it all.
The advances in
HIV treatment have
made it much easier
for me on the medical
front. Then there are
the emotions of it all.
Besides a few days in
the hospital last December,
these last two years
were indeed some of
the healthiest, most
productive and rewarding
years of my life. .
Q:
Was there ever a time
you didn't think you'd
make it?
A:
During
my time w/ cardiomyopathy
in the ER getting an
emergency angiogram
was by far one of the
scariest moments. At
that same time, my thyroid
function had virtually
stopped and I was going
through a multitude
of other struggles,
including
HIV drug resistance
and debilitating side
effects from the medications
to treat
HIV. Being told
this type of heart condition
was irreversible left
me with not much hope
of a future, until I
once again got educated
and empowered about
the issue. After years
of seeking the best
care and treatment,
I now have a normal
ejection fraction. The
process has indeed been
reversed!
Q:
What's the craziest
thing you've ever tried
on the treatment front?
A:
Where
do I begin? If it was
an option for
survival in the
80’s, I most likely
tried it. One of the
craziest was sticking
whole garlic cloves
dipped in peanut oil
up my ass to detox my
colon. I just couldn’t
succumb to drinking
my own urine however,
I do have my limits!
Q:
What was your initial
reaction when you found
out you were positive?
did you understand what
that meant?
A: This is a
bit difficult for me
to put into words. However,
I would say my initial
reaction was one of
total shock and overwhelming
fear and hopelessness.
In 1984 there was not
much known of
HIV/AIDS, let alone
of what this exactly
meant to me and my future.
So no, I really had
no good grasp of what
my diagnosis meant other
than being a 'death
sentence.' I quickly
educated myself as best
I could. With having
an initial diagnosis
of AIDS Related Complex
(ARC) and not 'full
blown
AIDS,' I knew there
was at least some
hope and I desperately
clung to that very hope.
Upon receiving my actual
HIV positive test
results, I was still
in utter shock and denial.
All I really knew then
is that I had the same
virus and symptoms of
my friends that were
rapidly dying of
AIDS and it was
overwhelming to say
the very least.
Q: When
inquiring, what do you
look for in a bike?
When admiring, what
is attractive to you
about a bike? ~BB
A:
The first thing
I would say is to
find a bike suitable
for your riding
abilities. Things
such as motor size,
overall bike size,
seat height etc.
The next aspect
would be practicalities.
Does the model of
bike have a sound
mechanical and design
history? Are you
planning to use
it for touring,
shorter distances
or both? Does it
have saddle bags
to hold gear, protection
from the elements
etc? How much will
insurance cost?
Sport bikes have
a pretty outrageous
insurance premium.
Then there is always
the cost of the
bike. As in buying
cars, be prepared
to 'waste' if you
decide to not buy
used. Harley's have
one of the best
re-sale values of
bikes on the market.
For Japanese models
they do not hold
their value nearly
as well. I'd definitely
consider buying
used from a reputable
source. Beyond being
practical it really
boils down to personal
tastes. In
Harley Davidson's
I prefer the NOISE,
nostalgia, chrome
and the classic
Harley lines,
my love is the
Road King! In
sport bikes, I prefer
the 'sexier' looking
bikes with stylish
fairings, to the
more 'stripped down'
models. My choice
is the Honda CBR
and the Suzuki Hyabusa.
"Live to Ride."
Q: Are men more
prone to contracting
HIV than women?
A: In heterosexual
relationships, no. Women
are typically more prone
to contracting
HIV considering
they are on the 'receiving
end.' The statistics
back that fact. That
does not mean that a
man cannot be exposed
to HIV from contact
with vaginal fluids
and blood. With reference
to men who have sex
with men, the receiving
partner of anal sex
is at much greater risk.
When we are talking
about transmission through
blood, we are all equal
on that level sharing
needles to inject drugs,
steroids, body piercing,
tattoos etc.
HIV does not discriminate.
Remember, it's not who
you are, its what you
do that puts you at
risk!
Q: Do you feel
that you are making
a difference in the
lives of the students
and teachers when you
talk to them about
AIDS and HIV?
A: I do indeed!
It is just 'this' that
helps motivate me and
keep me going in life.
I'm very perceptive
of my audiences and
I can see when I look
into their eyes that
if even for a moment,
I've helped them to
look at
people living
with HIV/AIDS differently,
but life in general.
My talks with students
encompass so much more
than just prevention
of the disease. The
written responses I
receive from the schools
are pretty overwhelming
and humbling to say
the least. They say
if you can save just
one life you've succeeded.
I can say with great
conviction, "mission
accomplished." It is
most definitely a 'win
win' situation!
Q: How long have
you been infected for?
A: I have been
infected with
HIV for 26 years.
Q:
Why did you do it Mr.
Bob? Why did you throw
your life away? Didn't
you know about AIDS?
A:
I appreciate this question!
The choices I was making
at the time were not
great ones. As simple
as I can put it, I fell
prey to peer pressure,
my addictions and lack
of knowledge. There
are no excuses. With
regards to throwing
my life away,
HIV/AIDS is indeed
a tough way to learn
in life, but I hardly
view my life as thrown
away. Rather, I view
my disease as a gift
and a blessing and have
used my time living
with it to share my
life experiences with
others. As I say, AIDS
just makes life that
much more complicated
and indeed it has for
me at times. For the
most part, I've been
able to live somewhat
of a normal existence,
whatever 'normal' is.
In fact I feel I've
been able to experience
even more of life's
blessings due to my
illness. As far as knowing
about HIV in 1983, they
didn't even have a test
for HIV at that time.
I absolutely did not
know that by making
a less than better choices,
AIDS would be the
resulting consequence
of the decisions I made.
Q: When you go
out on a date, do you
tell them you have
HIV?
A: Yes, I'm extremely
responsible about this.
I typically disclose
the fact that I am HIV
positive before it even
comes to a 'date' and/or
any chance of intimacy
that could possibly
transmit the virus.
Q: Do you ever
consider getting married?
A: I am married
to an amazing
woman who is
HIV negative. Previously,
I was married for nearly
11 years to a woman
who was and remained
HIV negative throughout
our relationship.
Q: Are you able
to have children without
infecting your wife?
A: It is indeed
possible for sero-discordant
couples to give birth
to healthy children.
There are a couple of
ways this can be done,
one being sperm washing.
It can be quite expensive
however.
Q: How did you
contract HIV?
A: I contracted
HIV through the sharing
of a 'tainted' needle
to inject drugs. It
was my girlfriend and
another couple all sharing
the same needle. However,
at the time (1983) I
was also having unprotected
sex. Either way I
could have been exposed
to HIV. Knowing
how easy blood-to-blood
transmission of
HIV is, makes sharing
the needle the more
likely option of transmission
in my situation.
Q: What and when
was your AIDS diagnosis?
A:
In 1984 I was told that
I had "AIDS
or Cancer and to prepare
for the worst." My official
diagnosis of AIDS Related
Complex (ARC) came in
1985 and it was later
that year I was told
I had AIDS, esophageal
candidiasis.
Q: How long do
you usually have AIDS
before you die of it.
A: This is a
tough one to answer.
As with most things
in life there is no
'one way.' Prior to
medications to treat
HIV infection, one
will develop AIDS within
10 years of being infected
with HIV, death would
be a few years after
the AIDS diagnosis.
In the era of the "drug
cocktail" or HAART,
it is possible to consider
that someone infected
could live a normal
lifespan. There are
so many other variables
to consider. Lifestyle,
stable housing, access
to care and treatment
etc. that play a huge
role in helping to prolong
life with AIDS.
I personally have defied
the odds that were given
to me in the early 80's.
I have many friends
who have been diagnosed
with AIDS and are living
far beyond the norm.
On the contrary, I've
lost many friends to
AIDS within a very short
time. There is more
hope than ever before
and it is vital that
someone newly diagnosed
not view
HIV/AIDS as a death
sentence.
Q: How much medicine
to you have to take
for HIV/AIDS and how
often?
A: I am currently
prescribed 10 different
medications and take
about 10 pills a day,
including injections.
This is down from an
all time high of 65
pills a day and multiple
weekly injections about
10 years ago. HIV medications
and medications to treat
side effects, vary from
person to person.
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