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Q:
What
do you do to get your
mind off HIV?
A:
I love
music, motorcycles,
weight lifting, computers, movies, writing,
chess, web design, photography,
staying in touch with
friends and family,
travel and being of
service. However, there
are many days I just
can’t avoid it. I don’t
know that it’s ever
entirely off of it,
but the distractions
do help.
Q:
How do you stay in such
great shape?
A:
Great
shape? I suppose that’s
relative. :) A dear
friend who passed away
from AIDS in the 80’s
once told me, “a virus
needs a strong host
to survive.” Using my
knowledge of fitness
I set out to do just
that. It’s one aspect
of my self-care that
makes the biggest difference
for me physically as
well as emotionally.
I do moderate exercise
using resistance training
as well as aerobics
3-5 times a week as
my schedule and health
allows.
Q:
Are you happy all the
time?
A:
Even
though I have so much
to be grateful for and
happy about, no, I’m
pretty sensitive and
a lot of life’s shit
gets to me, including
not being able to take
my health for granted.
I have an immense amount
of pain from the loss
I suffered from as early
as age nine when my
Mom passed. I’m happiest
when I’m not feeling
sick and I’m able to
be productive by being
of service and making
real connections with
others. I don’t have
much tolerance for ignorance
and bullshit in my life.
Q:
Has it gotten easier
or harder to live with
HIV as the years pass?
A:
It depends
on the time of day;
it can be that fragile
for me. It truly is
a full time job to care
for myself and balance
that with life, relationships
and my mission. As difficult
as it still is at times,
I’d say overall it is
easier as I’m far more
at peace about it all.
The advances in treatment
have made it much easier
for me on the medical
front. Then there are
the emotions of it all.
Besides a few days in
the hospital last December,
these last two years
were indeed some of
the healthiest, most
productive and rewarding
years of my life. .
Q:
Was there ever a time
you didn't think you'd
make it?
A:
During
my time w/ cardiomyopathy
in the ER getting an
emergency angiogram
was by far one of the
scariest moments. At
that same time, my thyroid
function had virtually
stopped and I was going
through a multitude
of other struggles,
including HIV drug resistance
and debilitating side
effects. Being told
this type of heart condition
was irreversible left
me with not much hope
of a future, until I
once again got educated
and empowered about
the issue. After years
of seeking the best
care and treatment,
I now have a normal
ejection fraction. The
process has indeed been
reversed.
Q:
What's the craziest
thing you've ever tried
on the treatment front?
A:
Where
do I begin? If it was
an option for survival
in the 80’s, I most
likely tried it. One
of the craziest was
sticking whole garlic
cloves dipped in peanut
oil up my ass to detox
my colon. I just couldn’t
succumb to drinking
my own urine however.
I do have my limits.
Q:
What was your initial
reaction when you found
out you were positive?
did you understand what
that meant?
A: This is a
bit difficult for me
to put into words. However,
I would say my initial
reaction was one of
total shock and overwhelming
fear and hopelessness.
In 1984 there was not
much known of HIV/AIDS,
let alone of what this
exactly meant to me
and my future. So no,
I really had no good
grasp of what my diagnosis
meant other than being
a 'death sentence.'
I quickly educated myself
as best I could. With
having an initial diagnosis
of AIDS Related Complex
(ARC) and not 'full
blown AIDS,' I knew
there was at least
some hope and
I desperately clung
to that very hope. Upon
receiving my actual
HIV positive test results,
I was still in utter
shock and denial. All
I really knew then is
that I had the same
virus and symptoms of
my friends that were
rapidly dying of AIDS
and it was overwhelming
to say the very least.
Q: When
inquiring, what do you
look for in a bike?
When admiring, what
is attractive to you
about a bike? ~BB
A:
The first thing
I would say is to
find a bike suitable
for your riding
abilities. Things
such as motor size,
overall bike size,
seat height etc.
The next aspect
would be practicalities.
Does the model of
bike have a sound
mechanical and design
history? Are you
planning to use
it for touring,
shorter distances
or both? Does it
have saddle bags
to hold gear, protection
from the elements
etc? How much will
insurance cost?
Sport bikes have
a pretty outrageous
insurance premium.
Then there is always
the cost of the
bike. As in buying
cars, be prepared
to 'waste' if you
decide to not buy
used. Harley's have
one of the best
re-sale values of
bikes on the market.
For Japanese models
they do not hold
their value nearly
as well. I'd definitely
consider buying
used from a reputable
source. Beyond being
practical it really
boils down to personal
tastes. In Harley
Davidson's I prefer
the NOISE, nostalgia,
chrome and the classic
Harley lines, my
love is the Road
King! In sport bikes,
I prefer the 'sexier'
looking bikes with
stylish fairings,
to the more 'stripped
down' models. My
choice is the Honda
CBR and the Suzuki
Hyabusa. "Live to
Ride."
Q: Are men more
prone to contracting
HIV than women?
A: No. Remember,
HIV does not discriminate.
When it comes to sex
however, women are typically
more prone considering
they are on the 'receiving
end.' The statistics
back that fact. That
does not mean that a
man cannot be exposed
to HIV from contact
with vaginal fluids.
When we are talking
about transmission through
blood, we are all equal
on that level, body
piercing, tattoos etc.
Q: Do you feel
that you are making
a difference in the
lives of the students
and teachers when you
talk to them about AIDS
and HIV?
A: I do indeed.
It is just 'this' that
helps motivate me and
keep me going in life.
I'm very perceptive
and I can just see when
I look into their eyes
that if even for a moment,
I've helped them to
look at not only HIV/AIDS
but life just a little
differently. The written
responses I receive
are pretty overwhelming
to say the least. They
say if you can save
just one life you've
succeeded. I can say
with great conviction,
"mission accomplished."
It is most definitely
a 'win win' situation!
Q: How long have
you been infected for?
A: I have been
infected with the HIV
virus for 25 years.
Q:
Why did you do it Mr.
Bob? Why did you throw
your life away? Didn't
you know about AIDS?
A:
I appreciate this question!
The choices I was making
at the time were not
great ones. As simple
as I can put it, I fell
prey to peer pressure,
my addictions and lack
of knowledge. There
are no excuses. With
regards to throwing
my life away, HIV/AIDS
are indeed a tough way
to learn in life, but
I hardly view my life
as thrown away. I rather
view my life as a gift
and a blessing and have
used my time to share
my life experiences
with others. As I say,
"HIV/AIDS just makes
life that much more
complicated and indeed
it has for me at times."
For the most part though
I've been able to live
somewhat of a normal
existence, whatever
'normal' is. In fact
I feel I've been able
to experience even more
of life's blessings
due to my illness. As
far as knowing about
HIV/AIDS at that time
in 1983, I absolutely
did not know that by
making less than better
choices that HIV/AIDS
was a consequence of
those choices. They
didn't even have a test
for the HIV virus at
that time.
Q: When you go
out on a date, do you
tell them you have HIV?
A: Yes, I'm extremely
responsible about this.
I typically disclose
the fact that I am HIV
positive before it even
comes to a 'date' and
or any chance of intimacy.
Q: Do you ever
consider getting married?
A: I indeed was
married for nearly 11
years to a beautiful
woman who was and remains
HIV negative. I am currently in a relationship of 4 years with an amazing
woman who is HIV negative as well.
Q: Are you able
to have children without
infecting your wife?
A: It is indeed
possible for sero-discordant
couples to give birth
to healthy children.
There are a couple of
ways this can be done,
one being sperm washing.
It can be quite expensive
however.
Q: How did you
contract HIV?
A: I contracted
HIV through the sharing
of a 'tainted' needle
to inject drugs. It
was my girlfriend and
another couple all sharing
the same needle. However,
at the time (1983) I
was also not having
protected sex. Either
way I could have been
exposed to HIV. Knowing
how easy blood to blood
transmission of HIV
is, makes sharing the
needle the more likely
option.
Q: What and when
was your AIDS diagnosis?
A: My first AIDS
diagnosis came in 1985
in the form of esophageal
candidiasis. Since then
my only other diagnosis'
were repeated episodes
of the esophageal candidiasis
as well as having 106
T4 cells. The CDC defines
having under 200 T4
cells as an AIDS diagnosis.
Q: How long do
you usually have AIDS
before you die of it.
A: This is a
tough one to answer.
As with most things
in life there is no
'one way.' Typically
without treatment, one
will usually develop
AIDS within 10 years
of being infected with
HIV. Typically death
without treatment would
be a couple years after
the AIDS diagnosis.
There are so many variables
however such as lifestyle,
access to HIV medications
etc. that play a huge
role in helping to prolong
life. I personally have
defied the numbers and
have many other friends
who have been diagnosed
with AIDS and are living
far beyond the norm.
Contrary, I've lost
friends to AIDS within
a very short time.
Q: How much medicine
to you have to take
for HIV/AIDS and how
often?
A: I am currently
prescribed 13 different
medications and take
from 25-30 pills a day.
Including weekly injections.
That is down from an
all time high of 65
pills a day and multiple
weekly injections about
4 years ago. The medications
do vary from person
to person.
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